Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
You've landed back in the teleportation chamber in Waterdeep.
I magically have bigger boobs than I did before.
You hear familiar footsteps of Leosin.
We thought we'd go grab a drink before we get back to it tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow come see me and we'll go over some final things.
We swing the door open to the Yawning Portal and I say,
this round's on me.
Something happened.
You guys, I killed somebody.
I don't feel like I had a choice.
This was different.
The dagger made you do it?
Well, I need to ask, you didn't want to say anything
or you couldn't say anything?
I didn't want to tell you.
Why is it so busy?
Oh, you fuckers are in here.
It seems like we haven't seen each other in months.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. How's the pirate life?
How's the pirate life?
I mean, I'm practically like executive captain.
We're leaving in the ship.
So like he, he off.
They're airships, sweetie.
They're air.
I don't think you need to row them.
Oh, God.
Do they have you rowing in the bottom of the airship?
Oh, you poor thing.
Has anyone seen Batty?
He went off with the arcane bros.
Seems a lot more like frat house when you change it
from the arcane brotherhood to the arcane bros.
Yeah.
Kelfa.
Gama.
Gandalf.
Gamafita.
Real sausage party.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast,
and I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More.
And with me today is Amy More.
I'm looking at an Elvish to English dictionary,
and I play Thea Amastasia.
Also with us, Tom Laird.
I'm looking at a notebook where I wrote something down from last time,
and it doesn't make any sense to me now.
And I play FlintFirebeard.
And Carla Johnson.
I'm looking at my dear friend's faces.
And I play Nularaaaa Moonbrook.
Still don't have video.
Still no video.
Which, I mean, I was going to say I'm not looking at myself,
but I wouldn't have been looking at myself anyway.
My view hasn't changed at all.
Carla's just zeroed in on the tiny picture of her the whole time.
She's like, yeah, I'm looking good.
This three-year-old picture is amazing.
Way to go, photographer.
There's no thunder in my dictionary.
That's too bad.
Because elves don't have a word for thunder?
Apparently not.
Loud claps in the sky.
I'm looking at boom.
They live for thousands of years, but they don't know what thunder is.
Oh, I had a good segue from Carla didn't have a camera to...
If you want to get Carla a camera,
go to Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Caps.
Purely selfish Patreon push this week.
Yeah, there we go.
When being part of our community,
it helps the podcast be a lot better with every episode,
unlike last episode.
Oh, boy.
That was a real...
Which was miles above the other one.
It was very good for its own reasons.
We also forgot to dedicate an episode to a patron,
which we realized at the end of the episode.
Today's episode is dedicated,
and I'm very sorry if I get your name wrong,
Kiyoti McDermott.
Who's been so active on Facebook.
Hey, Kiyoti.
So active on Facebook.
Yeah, a lot of activity on Facebook.
Yep.
Thank you very much.
You rock.
And if you want to join us on Patreon,
Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast.
And that's where it is.
And there's all sorts of different tiers.
So if you do feel like you can contribute,
which is amazing.
Don't think you're not welcome here if you can't,
because by all means, that's totally OK.
But if you can, there's varying levels of rewards
and things that you'll get a little peace back.
It's all right.
And if you can't, like Tom said,
there's lots of places you can join us.
We're not an exclusive club for members only.
Discord, anybody's welcome over there.
Link down in the description.
You can come join us and we chat with everybody.
And Facebook, come join our group,
the Reckless Play Guild.
You get to talk to us,
as well as three other awesome podcasts,
Dark Dice, The End of Time and Other Bothers,
and The Lucky Die.
They're all hanging out in there.
And we're all having a great time talking D&D
and all those great shows.
But that's it.
That's all.
Fuck it.
Let's play D&D and actually play some D&D this time, maybe.
We'll see.
Don't call me on that.
I mean, we talked about mechanics and level up.
We talked about leveling up.
For the first half of the episode.
And then it really went off the rails.
Off the rails, you meant got better,
then you're exactly correct.
You got it.
I thought maybe, I don't know.
Here's my thinking.
I was like, hmm,
I feel like there's a little lull in the conversation.
Let's throw Flametkins into the mix.
Always a good idea.
Always a great idea.
I was making tearful confessions
and she brought the whole thing around.
It was amazing.
Yep.
It's a real roller coaster second half of an episode.
Yeah, real like MVP cameo appearance.
That was solid.
Totally.
So we find you.
You've woken up the next morning.
Flametkins has gone off on her boat.
So she's not with you.
But you are exiting your rooms
unless you say you want to do something differently
before you do that.
And you meet in the hallway heading to Leosin's chamber.
Now, Flint's just got some like wicked dry mouth,
but other than that, he's good to go.
Thea doesn't get hungover.
Thea, could you just like Shazam me a little?
I'm not feeling like great.
A little bit of a headache, a little bit.
You know, could you just do your little?
Do I look like an IV?
You want me to heal wounds on you
because you have a hangover?
Could you just?
The real Myers cocktail.
Yes, exactly.
I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before.
Can you do that?
Yes.
Yar.
Yeah, I put my hand on her head.
Are you opposed morally?
No, it's never occurred to hangover before.
I've never had to.
I lay my hand on top of new Laura's head
and I cast heal wounds.
Maybe healing word.
I'm not sure.
I heal her of her hangover
and then I slap her in the back of the head.
Like a last time.
Thanks, buddy.
And you make it to Leo's office
and he's sitting in there,
as he usually does,
writing on some papers
and he looks up and he says,
you had a good night, I hope.
Yeah, I mean, I guess if you didn't
hear anything about it from the city guards,
then I guess it was a good night.
The warrant went out,
but I took care of it.
I took care of it.
Don't worry.
All right.
Thanks, Leo.
No problem.
It's much appreciated.
And I got your backs now and post-mortem.
Hopefully we don't get there,
but that's what we're here today to discuss.
There's some paperwork
that everybody has to fill out before
we go on our merry way
because you three,
you have accumulated quite a handsome wealth
and we don't want that
just to go into the wrong hands.
So where should we send your belongings?
If the worst happens.
Oh, let's just say it.
If we're eaten by Tiamat.
Yeah, it definitely didn't sound great.
I mean, I'm not the best at this.
I don't know why they gave me that job.
That's okay.
Well, you know us the best.
It's true.
You're the best at the actual filling out of the paperwork.
Just maybe not the human interaction that comes.
Yeah, yeah.
You can send all of my things back to Silvery Moon
and any wealth that I have accumulated
can be sent to the library
at the university in Silvery Moon.
Of course, of course.
I mean, you want all of your things sent to the library
or just your wealth?
Just my wealth.
The rest can go to my mother and my father.
Of course.
And Lara?
I guess I want two different plans.
First, if I die, but Flint and Thea live,
then I want them to have my things
and I want Donnie to stay with them if he can.
Oh, Nulara gets guacamole.
My mom's not an animal person.
Of course, yeah.
Yes, I am.
Sorry, sorry, Nulara.
Fair enough.
And if the absolute worst happens
and we're all gone, then, yeah, I would like
all of my money, my wealth to go to my family
split evenly amongst all my brothers
to do with as they will.
Any magical items that I have, though,
other than the amulet of temporary health
should also go back to my family.
It's a family piece.
But any other magical items I have,
I'd like to, you know, re-donate here.
I mean, my family, they're not going to be able to use them.
They're not going to want them.
They have a simple life.
But maybe another warrior could use them after I'm gone.
Except for maybe one.
Right, Nulara?
But maybe just not that one.
Maybe just not that one to be given away.
Maybe.
Right.
No, you make a good point.
Maybe one to be destroyed.
You, yes.
Thank you, Fia.
Good point.
So let's put a pin in that.
If none of us make it,
I also don't think Donnie would be happy
with my family so isolated.
But maybe he could go back to that place
where I flew on the...
What did I fly on?
Hippogriff?
The hippogriff?
Thank you.
I was like, the Griffahip?
Was it hippogriffs or was it griffins?
No, hippogriffs.
Okay.
Which is me not remembering anything for the last two or so.
I remember because I was like, Harry Potter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And everyone was like, what's a hippogriff?
I'm like, well, let me tell you.
Yeah, no, that was totally it
because it was the same as the Harry Potter thing
because I looked it up because I didn't know.
I think he would be really happy there.
I'd like it if he went there.
Joining the hippogriff outfit.
Yeah, yeah, Leos and I have this one item
that I don't want anyone to get.
And in fact, I'd like to talk to you
a little bit about that, but I don't know.
Maybe we should let Flint do his thing.
Oh, sure, yes, yes.
Yeah, Flint, do your thing.
I mean, usually people ask to do this
of their own accord by themselves,
but that's totally good
that we're doing this all together here.
You didn't offer to bring us into any separate rooms.
To be fair, yeah.
I think we might be in the hall right now.
Well, he's not trying to exact a confession
out of us separately.
Are we in the hall?
Are we just standing?
No, we're in the office.
I'm seated down.
We really don't want to split the party
even for our personal legal transactions.
Not even a little bit.
OK, yes, Flint.
OK, I guess I'm up then.
Yeah, so I guess if kind of same game plan
initially there, if I don't make it
and these two do, then, you know,
split everything between them.
I want them to have it all
except for the dwarven thrower.
I want that to be sent back
to the king in Mithril Hall
so it can end up in the hands
of another dwarf champion.
Of course, yes.
And yeah, other than that, like, yeah,
some money for for my mom to be taken care of.
And if there's anything left over,
you know, give it to the dwarf orphanage.
The dwarf orphanage.
Dwarfinage.
The dwarfinage.
I have that written down, too.
I know it's like a fun combo word for a terrible thing.
But it's such a fun portmanteau.
Yeah, I mean, after after having a good
set of parents for my whole life,
hopefully I could help out
a young dwarf without any.
Yes.
No, those are noble places to send
whatever's left in the untimely event
that you seize to be with us.
Oh, Leo, some just say died.
It's OK.
I can't.
We know what we're getting into.
Legally, oh, legally.
Hmm.
Look, I've spoken with dead people before.
They don't like to be called that dead.
Do you talk with a lot of dead people?
Oh, my God.
Other side adventure.
Leo's and goes to the great beyond.
Leo's and ghost whisper.
Leo's and the success.
I mean, I was a monk before I was before I was a paper pusher.
I mean, I spoke with helped many people cross their paths.
Leo's and question for you.
Is the pen truly mightier than the sword?
I've never used a sword, but yes.
But I mean, some do.
If you have a if you have a firm legal, legal,
legal paperwork behind you, no sword can beat that.
All right.
Good to know a stack of papers in this battle, sir.
Next life.
I guess I'm going to be a lawyer.
I suggest it, but ask for weekends off.
Yeah, good call.
You do work too hard.
I do.
I really do.
I have a horse named Tiny.
Where is your horse?
Yeah.
Remember we had horses and they were very important to us.
They were so important.
Well, I remember we left them.
What happened to them?
Someone and then we're going to come back, go back and get them.
I'm pretty sure you left them at the stables here in Waterdeep.
And you left on an airship.
Yeah, because we did send the airship back to get them.
Yeah.
We just haven't been doing a lot of horse style travel.
It's true.
I would like, oh, what's his fuck to have it?
This is such an awesome lawyer trip.
I mean, I know he's not a lawyer,
but we're just like randomly throwing out things.
Delane.
Oh yeah, I just remembered I have this.
Oh yeah, about that other.
You would like Delane Winterhound to have your horse.
Does he know that this horse would be coming?
No.
That's just a pleasant surprise.
No, he does not.
Yeah, he'll just get a horse.
He'll be thrilled.
He'll know what it means.
Don't think he's.
Oh, oh, I do have one other thing now that comes to mind.
And I pull out the lucky loo.
Oh shit.
I say there was an old dude on an airship and I didn't get his name,
but I want this to go back to him.
Because you kind of stole it from him.
Well, I mean, I kind of stole it from him,
but it was with his blessing, I think.
Well, when you're holding something that belongs to someone else
and then you have to immediately go into battle,
I think it's just assume that now that's yours.
Yeah, I think I think they're like, yeah, that's cool.
And he totally probably had a name that started with a G.
I mean, I mean, it would be likely.
So laughing at my he'll know what it means to.
You need to keep better notes for us.
We've been throwing you weird random shit from like 30 episodes ago
and you're like, oh, I can't find it immediately.
I need better.
I mean, remembering these things document is what I need.
Someone needs to start a wiki.
Someone needs to start a Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Yeah, so I can like so I can search things.
I always think that, but I'm trying to look up my notes
and then it's like, I don't know.
It's like 60 fucking pages ago.
I can't find it.
Yeah, that's fair.
Searchable documents.
I mean, if you got nothing to do and you want to go back
and you want to like Wikipedia that stuff,
we wouldn't stop you.
And we probably showed out tons of props to you.
Tons of props.
All the props.
A lot of love.
Send you, I'd send you a hoodie.
Damn, Russ.
Yeah, that's how much work that would have to do.
No, wait, okay.
Well, we've got to put a cap on this
because if everybody goes out and does,
I can't send everybody a hoodie.
One wiki, the first person to complete it gets...
First person to enact the wiki
and get it moving gets the hoodie.
Everybody else who follows can have some stickers.
So incentive to get it on the ground floor.
I see how this works.
Uh, sorry.
You had horses.
Tiny going to Delaine Winterhound.
Lucky Lou, sorry.
Where did it was?
Oh, he's going back to the ship, ship man.
Yeah, the old, old dude on top of the airship that...
I don't think I ever had his name.
Wait, was this the airship that you took to Zanthal's tower?
Yep, yeah, that's the one.
The one that never made it back.
Tragically shot down, wasn't it?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
That guy doesn't exist here.
Yep, that's your lucky Lou.
Can you send it to some sort of like military museum in honor of him?
Military museum, lucky Lou.
In honor of the guy I can't remember whose name it is who let me...
Yeah, in honor of that old dude.
Yep, that's the one.
There's probably like some sort of like, I don't know, list of the deceased.
Well, I'm sure they have a sortable Excel spreadsheet
that they can just look these things up with.
Exactly, absolutely.
An excellent spreadsheet.
They can go to the airship wiki and track them down, no problem.
Sounds like something that would be put in place.
I'll get right on that.
So, any other lucky Lou type objects amongst you
that you would like to specifically specify?
Otherwise, Nulara has some things to discuss with you two out in the hall.
Discuss with you while we're out in the hall?
Yes.
Okay, because that's not what you said.
All right.
I've been working for a very long time.
I'm done.
That's fair.
I'm done. Thank you, Leosin.
Yeah, no, you can basically just melt the rest of my shit down.
That's fine.
Got it.
Fire up the forge right now.
Perfect.
Was that a threat?
Right?
Guys, I'll just be a minute.
I'll be out in a minute.
Leosin, let's say hypothetically.
Yes.
Someone came into possession with an item
that was hypothetically maybe evil.
Who would you recommend they talk to about that?
Well, how evil are we talking here?
I mean, is that going to change your answer?
I mean, we have people you can talk to.
So, evil.
Yeah, okay.
Which item?
Any experts here with like...
I'm not sure I should say, Leosin.
I'm not sure I should say.
Oh, okay.
But, you know, like, who's the expert around these parts about,
you know, possessed kind of items?
We do have access to many, many mages, wizards.
The Arcane Brotherhood has been working very close with us.
If there's an item that is of concern...
Are you okay?
Mostly.
Okay.
I mean, if I could talk to someone, you know,
before we go fight the big bad, that'd be good.
Arvid, if it's possible.
I'll see.
What about like, you know, Supercreep?
You know, Arvin?
Arvid, yes.
I mean, he may know something.
I know he primarily deals in the potions
and other alchemical devices.
But you could definitely talk to him.
I know he sent me a note that he would like to see all of you
before you actually do head out.
So, I mean, that could be an easy stop for you.
Okay, well, you know, I'll ask him.
But if you think of someone who, you know, this...
Seems like it might be their thing.
Maybe send me a note.
Let me know.
It would really help if I knew a little bit more
as to narrow that down.
But I trust that you cannot say.
An enchanted magical evil item.
Okay, I will do my best to find somebody
who might be able to help you.
Awesome.
Thanks, Leosan.
Of course.
So then I go meet my friends in the hall.
Okay, you guys are out in the hall.
What do you think that's about?
Probably the dagger, right?
Yeah, probably the dagger.
Since I said you should ask Leosan about it.
Yeah.
Although I don't.
I worry that there's so much more to it
that she's not telling us because...
Yeah, like she...
We're not in that room right now.
She would have been able to like...
She would have told us, right?
But then she said like she didn't...
She didn't think she could
or she didn't want to or whatever.
Like, I don't know.
This is super weird.
She said she didn't want to.
But there was a long pause before that.
I feel...
I don't know.
I just...
I feel like it's really weird.
Can I roll to see whether or not
I've read about like enchantments on items
like controlling people's actions?
History check, like...
I mean, you've already rolled and checked all this.
Did I?
You guys found it.
And I didn't.
And you didn't...
Like you detected that it was magic.
You detected it was an enchantment.
You detected all that.
But you knew nothing else.
So there's never been another recorded case.
Maybe that's why she's done some like
research on the subject in the meantime.
Sure.
Okay, let me try.
We're going to go with a hissy fit.
The history check.
Roll for a hissy fit.
18.
Let's get a history check.
Came across nothing.
Okay, if she's feeling compelled by this
and it's making her get up in the middle of the night
and walk in her sleep and murder people...
Yeah, this like sleepwalking thing is a big concern.
Well, when she stabbed Thaddeus,
she had no recollection of it.
But she actively remembers murdering this guy
for no reason other than she had to.
Yeah, I mean, it's pretty nuts.
I don't really know.
How are we going to help her with this?
How are we going to trust her with this?
Yeah, that too.
Yeah, so that was a pretty cool party last night.
Hey, what are you guys talking about out here?
How did it go in there?
Um, good, I think.
Or, yeah, it was fine.
You know, Leosa.
Yeah.
Um, did you talk about the dagger?
Yeah, yeah, he's gonna...
Well, he said, you know,
and I think we're gonna go see Arvid anyway, right?
Get some stuff.
And he said maybe I could talk to him and see if,
I don't know, he might have someone else I can talk to about it.
But, I mean, we're gonna go see that super weirdo anyway.
So may as well ask, right?
Super weirdo.
Leosa steps out the door and says,
once you're done seeing Arvid,
make sure you come back to the council chamber
and everybody will have gathered to discuss final assets
before everybody heads out.
All right, Arvid, we go.
Hi-o, hi-o.
You head down to Arvid's.
Oh.
Every time, every time.
Well, at least I'm consistent.
Arvid!
Yep.
The door opens into the sterile...
Awkward with his sister, Simone, and then Thaddeus.
Yeah.
Arvid, Simone, Thaddeus, do, do.
Do, do, do, do.
The door opens into the sterile-like chambers
of the alchemist Arvid of Innistrad,
who is standing with his back to the door.
And as you step in, he says, oh, hello.
Man, and I was gonna run up and tickle him from behind.
Can't sneak up on me, Thea.
He's the best.
Ugh.
I feel violated from that.
Hello.
How's it going?
It's me, your dungeon master, Russ More.
Thanks for joining us for episode 73 of
Dumbgeons and Dragons, preparing for a road trip.
I'm kicking things off today with a big thank you to you.
We love you for coming along with us on this crazy adventure.
And as we get ever closer to the end of this arc,
it is surreal to think that we as players have been playing this game
for over three years with these characters.
And they're still living.
I know, it's crazy.
We've been releasing episodes for more than two years.
And you've been along with us on this wild and crazy ride.
So thank you for sharing the show, talking to your friends,
and supporting us through comments and feedback
and on Patreon and helping us make the show better each and every week.
So again, thank you.
We love you.
Next, I want to get you some free stuff.
All you got to do is join us on the Reckless Play Guild Facebook group,
which is an amazing group of people who are getting together to talk about D&D
and some amazing actual play podcasts like Dark Dice,
The End of Time and Other Bothers, The Lucky Die, and Dumbgeons and Dragons.
That's us.
Hey, yeah, we're over there.
And if you join the group before the end of January,
you'll be entered to win a D&D 5e book or PDF version,
whichever you prefer, that is missing from your collection.
If you miss out this month, don't worry,
we'll be doing more giveaways for the people in that group.
So there will always be a chance to jump on the bandwagon
and come along for the ride
and come join the great conversations we're having over there.
And finally, if you are liking what we're doing
and you want to support the show a little more,
you can find and interact with us on Patreon,
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
where for as little as one dollar a month,
you'll be making the show better with each and every episode,
that's for sure.
But also you get in on some amazing perks like bonus episodes,
unedited Skype calls for our recording sessions,
private Discord channels, and so much more.
Again, and only if you can, because we know, we know money.
That's Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
And we hope to see you over there.
You can find all the links that you could ever need
or the ones that I've mentioned today
down in the description for this episode.
A final thanks to Sirenscape for some of the amazing atmosphere.
Make sure you check them out at sirenscape.com
to bring your games to life.
The next episode will be out Wednesday, February 6th,
which starts a series of episodes that we recorded at PodCon.
And the first one is with Travis Vangroff
of Dark Dice, White Vault and Liberty podcast
and Sean Howard of The End of Time and Other Bothers
and Alba Salix.
Super fun.
Can't wait for you to hear it.
That's coming out next week.
But for now, let's get back and see what Flint and Thea
are up to.
Maybe they'll pick up some road snacks on their way out.
Who knows?
Have a great week.
We'll talk soon.
Hey, Arvid.
Hello.
How's it going?
Marvelous, marvelous.
You've come to see me before you head out, yes?
Yeah, Leosin mentioned you wanted to see us
and then I want to talk to you about something also.
I mean, I did tell you to come see me
so that was just a reminder,
but it appears you have forgotten.
Oh, yeah, we we forget a lot of things.
We all just went home.
It was, you know, it's nothing personal.
We got a lot on our plates.
I get it.
I get back from vacation.
Your brain isn't quite working yet, you know.
Yes.
Well, I have a gift for you.
Oh, like, like for all of us?
Yes, yes, for the for the three of you.
Oh, cool.
Hold, hold, please.
Is there fun hold music for us?
He opens up a box and it begins a soft lullaby-esque song.
We're thinking really creepy.
Like any minute a clown on a tricycle might come around a corner.
We will find out in post.
Oh, what a fun game.
So react accordingly as he runs into the back room.
What do you what do you guys think this gift is?
I don't know, but hopefully it's not a music box.
That thing's fucking creepy.
Hopefully it's not a wet sword.
Hey, I already got one of those.
Wouldn't it be disgusting to own one of those?
How embarrassing would it be to own two of those?
Then you'd just be wet sword guy.
I mean, I kind of already am a wet sword guy now, but.
But if you had two, it would like.
Oh, just really double down on it.
Yeah, he comes back in carrying a chest about two feet by a foot,
wooden chest, intricately carved, and he places it down in front of you.
This is this is for you.
Some things I've been working on that may help you.
I mean, we'll we'll always take all the help we can get.
Good.
Is it should we is it the box because it's beautiful?
Or should we open the should we open the box or?
You might open the box.
There are things inside of the box.
I mean, I didn't want to insult the gift if the gift was the box.
Yeah, I mean, if we were expecting more,
then that would just be awkward for everyone.
Yeah, I understand.
I see the error in my ways.
Next time I will write open box on the box.
You should know that.
Well, just it takes any question out of the situation.
So, yes, yes, of course.
Hmm.
Well, as you as as you at your leisure, do it now, do it later.
Whatever you like.
I do have one question before we open the box.
Is there a snoring dog back there?
Yeah.
As a matter of fact, there is.
I have recently acquired a small, small Kenan companion.
To keep me company.
Oh, that's awesome.
That's nice, Arvin.
What's its name?
Jared.
Oh, that's a great name for a dog.
I thought so.
Quiet, Jared, go back to sleep.
I'd like to open the box.
I hate surprises and secrets.
You open the box.
I open the box.
There are five vials of varying colors.
Is one of them yellow?
I would really like one of them to be the exact shade of yellow the other one is.
So then Amy doesn't know which one is which.
She goes to take it.
I use that.
I actually use that one.
Yeah.
One of them are.
One of them are yellow.
One of them is yellow.
One of them are yellow.
One of them is yellow in color.
The others.
Actually, last night while we were.
Okay, you talk about this.
Last night while we were having our fun drinks and stuff, I slipped my yellow potion into
Flammekin's drink.
She has to fight yellow.
Because how long does it last?
Like 12 hours, I think you said?
No, it was like a thousand weeks.
Oh, no, it was like a thousand weeks.
Yeah, it was a long time.
Didn't you make him give you an antidote potion?
That's how you got rid of it.
I did because I didn't want to see Delaine yellow.
Yeah.
Okay, so there's five potions, Russ?
Yes, there are five potions that you see.
Each have a band of what looks to be tape and quick handwriting on them.
The first one has a name that says Life Essence.
The second, Andres Gojuice.
Amazing.
I love it.
Now, is Gojuice hyphenated or is it?
Two separate, two separate words.
The third, Hidden Talents.
The fourth, Glass Jelly.
And the fifth, Bee Knees.
Bee Knees.
Now, do we know what they do, Russ?
There's nothing on the bottles to distinguish what they do.
Hey, what do these do?
Excuse me, excuse me.
I must take Jared out for a quick walk.
They will help you when you need them.
And he quickly leaves the room.
Okay, so I guess we got like some some mystery stuff here.
If you want colors to go along with them,
Life Essence is a red Glimering liquid.
Andres Gojuice is a clear liquid which looks like it has a large fingernail.
Floating in it.
Hidden Talents, you pick it up.
It appears empty, but as you pick it up,
it feels like it has the weight of a liquid within it.
The Glass Jelly, it appears to be a gelatinous oil that sparkles
with ultra thin shards of silver.
And Bee Knees appears to be a yellow liquid.
Well, I'll hold any any of them except for Bee's Knees.
I'll take Bee Knees because I love bees.
It's a little nod to Ty's fan art.
Because I never did get a bee companion, so.
No, you didn't.
Russ?
I will take Life Essence.
I kind of want Andres Gojuice,
but if someone else wants it too, that's fine.
That's got a fingernail in it.
I'll pass.
What about you, Nularaaaa?
I mean, whatever.
I'll take whatever's left, I guess.
There are three left.
Right.
I didn't mean I'd take all three.
I just meant you guys pick your faves.
I'll take what's left.
I'm sure they're all great.
I'll take Hidden Talents then.
All right.
I'll take Bee Knees for sure.
And then if nobody wants Andres Gojuice, I'll take it.
Thea picks up Glass Jelly and puts it into Nularaaaa's.
You take this one.
If only we knew what these did.
I'm excited to find out.
Me too.
He wouldn't give us anything harmful, right?
I mean, he's a weirdo.
He's a weirdo, but he's only mostly been helpful, right?
He's only ever been helpful as far as I know.
Yeah, so, you know.
All right.
Well, if the guild trusts him and the council trusts him,
death by mystery potion or death by dragon?
Yeah, exactly.
One might be funnier.
If the door's going to open one way or the other,
you might as well have some fun with it, right?
Exactly.
Thanks, Ardyn.
Arvid.
Arvin.
Arvid.
You didn't even write down his name on your notes.
You wrote down Creepy Dude.
Because I couldn't remember his name when I was writing the notes.
Arvid.
You don't hear anything because he's left the building.
I mean, he's gone.
It was a weird way to give a gift.
He was like, here's some presents.
Gotta walk my dog.
Here's some presents.
And before I tell you what they do, I gotta leave.
You didn't get to ask him about your dagger.
I know, he's tricksy.
I mean, he mostly, as Leosin did point out, he is like an alchemist.
So it's not exactly his wheelhouse.
But I just expect him to know general creepiness stuff.
That's OK.
Leosin's going to hook me up with, I don't know, someone or something.
Let's go back up to the council room.
Yeah, let's get up there.
I don't like going up there, you guys.
I just want to say.
Me neither.
I like being in that room.
It's not my favorite place.
Do you feel like we've done a heck of a lot of work for them and get very little like,
I don't want to congratulations, but I would like fewer scowls when we walk into a room.
Yeah, and like a little more guidance on what we should be doing.
Yeah, yeah, I got to agree with both of you.
All right, let's go.
Like they're our parents and we're always in trouble.
It's a weird vibe.
Yeah, it is.
Like we did what they asked and then some and they're still not satisfied.
I'm like, well, I don't see you out there.
And you make it up the stairs and back to the council chamber where there's an open
door and a filled chamber with all of the leaders of the various factions.
And as you step through the doors, there is an uproarious applause.
As we begged him for it.
Some of them appear to be scowling as they clap,
but like they've been told that this is what is important right now.
A boost in morale is what's needed.
You get the feeling.
Thank you for your half-hearted applause, folks.
It's kind of weird, right, guys?
Like, were they just listening to us?
Like, I don't know.
Yeah, anyhow, anyway, but I still kind of like it.
I don't know.
It feels good.
You take your seat around the table.
I flip my chair around.
Cool substitute teacher style.
I'm about to talk with the kids.
Yeah, I don't know.
Question, Russ, before I sit down, does the applause start to wane as I sit down
and then I like stand back up and they have to like re-up with it?
Do we live for the applause?
Applause?
Yeah, how many times does Flint do that?
Just one time.
It definitely does it.
All right, cool.
He kind of nods to himself like, all right.
You catch Leosan's eye and he's looking at you
and he's clapping the loudest and he gives you a little wink like,
maybe he told them.
And I kind of give him the old like
two thumps on the chest right back at him.
And Lady Leral Silverhand stands up and says,
we are all gathered here today because we are about to embark on the final battle,
hopefully the most victorious battle.
We have assets from all the factions around Faerun and beyond,
and we must decide where best they are needed.
Music.
In today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of Incompetech.Filmmusic.io.
So if I start the wiki, can I have the?
You've got a hoodie upstairs.
I love hoodies.
You know how tempted I am to wear your hoodie?
Like you just, if it gets to you smelling like me.
I'm never going to wash it.
I'll lock it in a glass display case.
Weird.
It's weirder than what I said.
You win.
Well, had to up the ante somehow.
Put your headphones back on.
I don't want to now.
Yeah, we live like this now, Russ.
I literally just started waving so that Tom would see,
so that he could put his headphones back on.
You were waving?
Tom and I are definitely going to get this camera situation sorted out.
Why are you being so weird?
Because the door opened and we were talking about it.
Hey, what are you guys talking about out here?
Did you say that in front of her?
Flynn, why are you being so weird?
Because the door opened and we were talking about her.
I just wanted to change the subject.
What's its name?
Jared.
What an odd name.
What an odd go-to name to just pluck from the ether.
What's that store in the mall?
It's like Arlene.
Is that the thing?
Arlene's, yeah.
Arlene's is the hip store for tweens.
Yeah, it's like the ear piercing store, right?
Arlene's is like the 40 to 60.
Sure, totally.
Arlene.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.